fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize