Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
