That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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