Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
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My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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