He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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