Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
