ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just invented taco cereal.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
