I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
