All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Please don't give away my fajitas
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
