Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
