I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
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I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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