oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
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