I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize