dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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