I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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