Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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