Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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