Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I miss vodka workout Fridays
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
