Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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