Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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