how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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