Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
