No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
barbara walters just said penis...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
