yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
