I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
