I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
