Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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