There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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