My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
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I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
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I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
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