Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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