Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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