Don't make out with my wife yet
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
