i think i have herpe
just one?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
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Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
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I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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