Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
