i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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