What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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