so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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