the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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