You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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