dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize