Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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