Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
