using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
