dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
