The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Pappa wants mamma naked
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
