Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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