I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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