Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
