She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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