Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
