By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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