I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
