Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
