This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
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after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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