i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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