erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you win again, gameday.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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