My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize