Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Pants are for mortals
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
