I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
