Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED