Cold hands, warm shart.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.