At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way