I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
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I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
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IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”