She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.