can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
