He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
