Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
