I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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