No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
