I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
