Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Randomize
