my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
