if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
