Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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